How many times have we thrown our hands up and said, “It’s too hard”? What do we do at these times? Do we walk away and come back at the issue later from a different angle later on? Or do we walk away and turn our backs on the problem altogether?
What happens when life becomes so hard and the future looks so dark (in our eyes) that we see no possible way out?
There are many who are sitting reading this who would probably be saying, “There is always a way,” and you are right. There IS always a way. However when a person’s mind has become so polluted with dark thoughts and depression they find it hard to see the light that you say is there. “Exercise will make you feel better”. The rational mind knows this to be true. The clouded mind is so bogged down in the mire that the mere idea that they find the energy to move from their position curled under the covers where it is safe is ludicrous. What makes it worse is that their mind is telling them that this is true but it’s also telling them to stay safe.
The thought of taking their own life becomes something that is entertained on more than the odd occasion. In their mind, the person battling the black dog of depression believes that their family, friends and workmates would be far better off without them. In the majority of cases, it is merely the thought that is entertained and not the actual deed. Sadly, some find life all too hard and end their existence within it. Have you ever been to the funeral of a suicide victim? It is the most heart rending of things to endure because coupled with the grief of losing someone, those that are left behind are also questioning themselves about what they could have said or done differently to prevent the tragedy. Alongside the grief is guilt as if coping with grief is not enough.
Do I know what I am talking about? Yes, yes I do. I have been on both sides of the equation. I’ve pondered the easy way out of taking a handful of pills and going to sleep, never to wake up. But I’ve also been in the crowd standing wall to wall in a small church that is grieving the loss of a life ended too soon. I’ve asked myself the question ‘what could I have done to help him’? And I didn’t want my family to have to go through that if I had gone through with my plan to swallow all those pills.
So when life becomes too hard. What do I do? I cry. I cry a lot. I talk to friends and family who have no idea what to say but that is okay. At least they listen. I don’t want them to fix my problems. I want them to realize that my mind has these issues. And I write because writing really is the cheapest form of therapy I know. Some of what I write is just the random processes of my mind.
If life is getting too hard for you please don’t become a statistic.