The Clouded Mind

Posted: January 30, 2017 in Life

How many times have we thrown our hands up and said, “It’s too hard”? What do we do at these times? Do we walk away and come back at the issue later from a different angle later on? Or do we walk away and turn our backs on the problem altogether?

What happens when life becomes so hard and the future looks so dark (in our eyes) that we see no possible way out?

There are many who are sitting reading this who would probably be saying, “There is always a way,” and you are right. There IS always a way. However when a person’s mind has become so polluted with dark thoughts and depression they find it hard to see the light that you say is there. “Exercise will make you feel better”. The rational mind knows this to be true. The clouded mind is so bogged down in the mire that the mere idea that they find the energy to move from their position curled under the covers where it is safe is ludicrous. What makes it worse is that their mind is telling them that this is true but it’s also telling them to stay safe.

The thought of taking their own life becomes something that is entertained on more than the odd occasion. In their mind, the person battling the black dog of depression believes that their family, friends and workmates would be far better off without them. In the majority of cases, it is merely the thought that is entertained and not the actual deed. Sadly, some find life all too hard and end their existence within it. Have you ever been to the funeral of a suicide victim? It is the most heart rending of things to endure because coupled with the grief of losing someone, those that are left behind are also questioning themselves about what they could have said or done differently to prevent the tragedy. Alongside the grief is guilt as if coping with grief is not enough.

Do I know what I am talking about? Yes, yes I do. I have been on both sides of the equation. I’ve pondered the easy way out of taking a handful of pills and going to sleep, never to wake up. But I’ve also been in the crowd standing wall to wall in a small church that is grieving the loss of a life ended too soon. I’ve asked myself the question ‘what could I have done to help him’? And I didn’t want my family to have to go through that if I had gone through with my plan to swallow all those pills.

So when life becomes too hard. What do I do? I cry. I cry a lot. I talk to friends and family who have no idea what to say but that is okay. At least they listen. I don’t want them to fix my problems. I want them to realize that my mind has these issues. And I write because writing really is the cheapest form of therapy I know. Some of what I write is just the random processes of my mind.

If life is getting too hard for you please don’t become a statistic.


If you’re smart, talented, strong, independent, successful and happy, let it stay that way. Do not give up one thing for the sake of making someone feel needed and accomplished.

This goes out to all the women out there who think that they should lower their standards just to make a man feel more accomplished and successful to make something work out.

Of course, men and women are NOT equal. This does not mean one is inferior and the other superior. We are not meant to be a mirror image of each other. We are meant to be a compliment to each other, not compete with each other — we are meant to be two halves of a whole, with each bringing different qualities to the table that feed each others inherent needs.

Saturday Rain

Posted: January 12, 2014 in Uncategorized

Do the skies have to be this gray?
Does the ground have to be full of puddles?
Do the heavens have to pour out its blues?
Oh, Saturday, do you have to take away the fun?
What say, I play and laugh in the rain?
Who dares to join the insanity?!

The Human Mind

Posted: November 22, 2013 in Life

The human mind wanders to places, which even to the human eyes are yet unknown. It has its way of seeing truth, reason, fantasy, ideas, and a whole lot more. It can choose to create a whole new world of its own. The mind, like the outside world, has its bickering – reason and emotion. Our ability to reason and to feel makes us more truly human, and more often than not, reasoning and feeling comes separately, but these two need to be in harmony to create a good will that leads to our actions. It is how we act on certain things that define us, and that is how important our thoughts are. We cannot control negative thoughts about certain things, situations and people, but we have the ability to choose whether or not to keep these thoughts.

What Is There to Gain?

Posted: September 28, 2013 in Life, Poems

Wide awake

For sanity’s sake.

Memories brought back,

“Is it reason that I lack?”

They think it’s just pride,

And all these emotions I hide.

I’ve never been this stubborn,

Look back to the day I was born.

It’s not pride but pain.

Oh, what is there to gain?

Stranded in Quandary

Posted: September 22, 2013 in Life

Hit by a reality,

Placed in uncertainty,

Stranded in quandary,

And open to vulnerability.

We’ll never get break even,

For ’tis not a truth I’ve chosen,

But your lie that might leave me broken.

Oh, wholly I look up to heaven!

Not even words had lifted the gray,

Nor humor made the smile stay,

For part of me went astray,

To somewhere where sadness loves to play.

The Mannequin and The Well-crafted Beings.

via The Mannequin and The Well-crafted Beings.